I’ve been back in my office seeing clients in-person since August, and I’ve had a bunch of new clients. By the end of their first session, half of them have told me, “I should have done this years ago”. Those same words, over and over. I’ve heard them far more often in the past 2 months than I usually do. While I’m delighted to be able to help these people now, those words break my heart.
These words come from people who have been in pain for years. They come from people who have been taught to ignore pain, or have been taught that being in pain is a normal thing. They come from people who keep themselves too busy to have time or energy to acknowledge and address pain. They come with regret.
Ignoring pain is a habit just like any other. Capitalism teaches us “no pain, no gain”, but it’s simply not true. Other than productive “I’ve just worked out'“ soreness, pain is a signal that something is wrong and needs your attention. Without some kind of major injury, illness, or chronic condition, being in pain most or all of the time is not normal, no matter your age. Pain is not inevitable, and it’s changeable.
A major feature of being in a pandemic for many is that the pace of life has slowed way down. Unless you’re a working parent with kids doing school via Zoom right now, chances are it’s really hard to stay busy no matter how much you want to be. Not being busy means we get confronted with all the things we stay busy to ignore, especially physical and emotional pain. We’ve been forced to slow down and suddenly realize how bad a situation has gotten while we paid attention to other things.
I hope you can take a little of this extra free time we find ourselves with to get some help and learn what those signals mean and how to work with them. If you do, you’ll be in a much better place when we get back to a more normal pace. Even with limited finances, there is a ton of information and help available, both from me and from countless other sources. Instead of always listening to that voice saying you’re fine and pain doesn’t matter, take a moment to put that voice aside and check in with yourself. Is it actually fine, or is it time to try something new?
